Spoken Word Poetry #1 - A Hole Underground

This is the first in a series of poems written to be performed as spoken word poetry. The common theme is mental illness.
This particular poem deals with depression.

Some days, it hurts.

It hurts when they tell me
Smile, girl, smile
Stand taller, be bolder,
Put yourself out there.
It hurts, because I can't.

But most days, it's just…nothingness.

I am empty.
A void, a black abyss.
So empty, I can't breathe
Can't eat, can't sleep.

I've become so numb,
Just like that Linkin Park song,
It ate Chester up, you know.
The same thing that's eating me.

Shhh! Not so loud. Society might hear.
The most dangerous word,
More than rape, murder, war,
Something no one can see
My shameful little secret.

After all, all I need to do
Is stop being so sad.
Cheer up! Smile!
Stop pretending.

Putting me in more classes,
Music, dance, football.
Bringing my two friends over.
Ah, poor parents of mine,
I salute you for trying.

But whatever you throw into infinity
Will not change it.
And this infinity of emptiness
Will swallow me whole
Has already swallowed me whole.

So do away with your shame
Do away with this pretence.
Hear me out, I'm trapped now
I feel buried alive!

I'm in a hole,
A hole underground.
Are you listening, Alice?
Not all is fun and games here.

Not for me a scurrying rabbit
But rather just walls of mud
This is my prison, this is my cage.
Let me out!

I look up, I see the blue sky,
I see people, birds passing by
Nobody hears my call for help
You can't hear people when they're underground.

So ma, pa, look at me
I'm not sad, I'm not pretending.
Don't try to make light
Of this darkness I'm in.

Hear me out, help me out,
Let me out of this trap.
Or, at the very least, stop asking me,
"Log kya kahenge?"

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