Spoken Word Poetry #3 - Inside My Head

This is the third in a series of poems written to be performed as spoken word poetry. The common theme is mental illness.
This particular poem deals with anxiety disorder.

I'm a quiet guy.
My friends will tell you I'm a nice guy.
The girl I like will tell you I'm a sweet guy,
But she doesn't see me that way.

But that's okay!
I don't want to scare them away.

Because it's true.
I am a quiet guy.
But inside my head,
Things are so - damn - loud!

You're not good enough.
You will never be good enough.

My friends will tell you I'm a friendly guy.
But what they won't tell you,
What they don't know
Is that I rely on the voices around me
To drown out the ones in my head.

You're not good enough.
You will never be good enough.

Stop! Just - leave - me - alone!
I can't handle it
Some days, I want to step out of myself
I want to abandon this ship
Because it is surely going to drown.

You're not good enough.
You will never be good enough.

Ma asks me why I hate reality TV
How do I tell her,
My reality is a screwed-up me
When people throw the word "anxious" around
Like it's a speck of dust on the wind
I want to scream at them
"No! It's a huge storm!"
It's a huge storm inside my head
And it's ripping me apart
And I can't stand it any more
So don't you dare.

Don't you dare make it sound
As though I'm just nervous
As though I'm just melodramatic
As though if I just sit in some doctor's office
Everything will become alright.
Because it won't!
It won't and that's the truth.
So don't you dare.

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